Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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