Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
