party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Holy shit dude........stairs
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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