9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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