Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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