Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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