You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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