I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
