No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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