Christians are straight up FREAKS
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
