I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
