You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
