Are we in a gay sports bar?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
