I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
