the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Bring me that man meat
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
