only if we run a train.
done.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
