chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize