sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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