I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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