someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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