ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
