Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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