I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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