"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
