no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
