They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
