I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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