From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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