thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
