I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
