i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize