He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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