i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
