But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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