I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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