We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
