My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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