Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Randomize
