I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
