She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
