I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
