I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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