So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize