I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
