This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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