good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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