just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
