it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
