I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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