Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
