He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize