Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
