At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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