so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
