The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.