My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
