found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.