Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
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...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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