I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.