I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
