Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
