i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
